My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
