So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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