Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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