I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
