Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
