You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Randomize
