Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
