I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
