Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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