dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I skipped work to stalk him.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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