mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
