some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
