Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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