It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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