Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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