I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
