If that was your dad, he is hot
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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