why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize