i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
