road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize