I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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