Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
