I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
