SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
