It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
