the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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