Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
