My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize