If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
