It's Friday. Sex?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
