i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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