CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
