Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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