We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
