we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
