he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
