i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
