I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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