why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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