I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
