honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
