Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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