lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
