Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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