So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
