And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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