Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
