Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize