great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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