Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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