Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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