How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
