what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
