what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
