I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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