Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
