Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
