that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
This house was built for laser tag.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize