A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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