my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize