So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We're too hungover to prance.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
