So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
