the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
