OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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