You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I met the friendliest cop last night
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
