New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
