Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
