You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just forgot I was standing up.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
