he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
