I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
