Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
