Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
