Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Damn victory sex feels great
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
