rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
