she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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